Such a Brief Picking of 'Nuts'

You saw the crimson in the sky and thought of me... Now I will wipe away tears at any sight of the colour crimson, or a sun setting scene somewhere, anywhere, or just a static bleeding horizon in real life or pictures. Were the raven-crows flying away from it, or into it? This shall remain a mystery, as shall knowing whether black was actually succour or just a swift and sudden unexpected cloak of painful gloom.

Mediocre

Let's Look Into Our Mirrors?

Flawed beings demanding perfection?
Ostentatious – Ridiculous – Preposterous!
Blind to the reflections of imperfections
That stare them in their face
Focused on counting
what’s not right in others
Rejecting reality and living facades
Portraying the decay of their heart
Exhibiting grotesque beliefs
that reside in a cavity of
culturally misconstrued
culturally maligned
and culturally misguided
utter nonsensical paradigms
that failed themselves to begin with
and are now being cast
upon you!
Yes, upon you and I!

Empty and Loud

It’s 1015 pm 

on a weekend night,

In solitary silence I type -

Annoyed by the frivolity of

all that surrounds me.

Texture-less fabrics

Spread out before me,

Reminders of ubiquitous nothings,

Jarring and ringing in my ears,

Reminding me of my insignificance

In everything.

You Turned Into a Monster...

Sometimes you’re pushed to the point when any random sound or action may snap you and take you to a place that never was you, and normally never will be you. You refuse to have anything to do with this person that you may in that moment turn into. This snap is unreal. You become this ugly ferocious monster whom you would never interact with, ever… How do you stop yourself from slipping into that mask? You’re going to be held responsible, no matter what your excuses for not knowing yourself in that moment be. So, stop. Breathe. Audhubillahi min ashaytaan irajeem – lahawla wala quwwata ill billa – and save urself.

Indeed My Lord Is With Me, He Will Guide Me

Charades of the Work Force

Ostentatious

the behavior of humans

Depressingly sad

how deep corruption seethes

Volatile

their vicious ammunition

Discord abound

it breeds into creeds

Blasphemous

their promises of things being fair

Malicious disparity

is all they amongst colleagues fruitlessly bear

Disgusting

how matters stand from this vantage point

And Allah swt Always Knows Best.

That Finger That Points At Others...

... Yes it irks me!

For every piece of news we seem to get hold of, in these globally advanced times of ours; every discovery has to be glamourised, or at least hyped oh so much, that the listener in response either gapes, hates, or cries. Yes, interpret those reactions as you may!

Every nation, culture, and religion has one thing in common. They're all comprised of human beings. These human beings, based on the beliefs of the Abrahamic scriptures (I won't claim to presume about other religions, for I have not read of them enough), are designed in such a fashion that renders them susceptible to erring; the very reason for man to be set down on earth. If humans were mistake-free, or the epitome of perfection, then the very connotation of angels would be moot or void.

The fact that human beings are not perfect, leaves the door open to one, two, or few going astray - perhaps some more yet, having a mean streak stretched beyond what is comprehensible by the majority. The general good all of mankind collects to agree upon, regardless of creed and sect, just as they mostly do over the general bad. But offlate, the trend seems to be name calling; in the name of religion, country, groups, etc. 

-If one person belonging to your group goes astray, does that make the entire group lost? 

-If one person from a specific sect claims to say something that is disagreeable, does that bound everyone from that sect to the same thought/rigidity/stance? 

-If one person from 'x' country does something one way, does that make all citizens of that nation duty bound to do things that very same way? 

-If one person (or even 10) from religion 'y' interpret their rituals and duties as doing certain things in a certain manner, does that mean that all who claim to be under the umbrella of this faith will, and do, every thing that very same way?
Why are communities, nations, and a people being stoked and stroked by a quick smearing of the same brush? Why are we confining ourselves to the limitations of a single story, when what we really need to do is expose ourselves to the possibility of something more that may -and often does- exist beyond our myopic exposure? Why does it have to come down to either Muslims being terrorists, or Americans being Conspirators, while all Indians and Pakistanis being doctors and IT people, and all Arabs owning oil wells and camels, not to forget that all Brits have to have horrible dental hygiene, and everyone in Antarctica lives in Igloos! 

I guess by now, the ones reading who have a working grey matter would have caught on my drift, and woe.

One can only hope so much... and pray, if you're thus inclined...

*sigh*

Delicately Plotted Lies

To have the ground pulled out from beneath your feet... To have been lied to...
When you felt that all in your world was right, 'cos in that one soul you entrusted all of your strife,
And for that one soul - you nearly gave away your still young and naive (or so now it seems) life,
Only to find that everything he'd said, shared, and put in visible sight,
Had been nothing but distorted, preplanned cards of his lies, and a non existent semi-life.
How much of what he'd said, had morsels of truth in it?
How much of what you thought were his kids, his feuds - really true?
From the looks of it, your heart in vain, in that time had sat down to pine.
From your findings post hankerings today - all of it had been vines and vines and just more vines,
Full of contorted lies, lies, and some more lies - that he'd been using to fill up with images devised just for your eyes,
And all this, his time and moment today, were at peace with despite crossing ethical ties...
While on a chance or fluke, let's call it, you fell upon a link today - leaving your suspicions aghast,
Stared on you did, at what was printed in fine ink - your eyes from behind a layer of un-shed dew,
Saw it all - Alas! What you had been lovingly fed; a meticulously prepared broth of deceitful stew!
She was proof of his loins, no more did I wish to find out any more...
Was my reality back then fabricated, a partial convenience, or who knows in how many parts true?
No more him or of him did I want my mind to think, or my heart care - No, damn sure no more!
All thoughts of him, as they used to stand and did too, until today,
Dear Mind, you must please eliminate them from the core of your all,
Their disgrace and everything that in it's lieu, has in your life happened, 
From this moment on, must be made to decease; no more be thought of, or in any way thus spewed.

Facebook Users

*Picture credits, all individually go to those who made them. I only accumulated them from the web and put them in a collage.
     
*Disclaimer: This is not meant to ridicule Facebook itself, rather just some of it's ''users'' **cough*abusers*cough**

Facebook-ers as I've seen them. Some I love to bits, regardless of their idiosyncrasies. Some... I'd rather not say what I really want to about them. Politeness wins. Nevertheless, my take on them all below:


1) The general social people who are there to keep in touch, the normal acceptable way.

2) The bored social people whose boredom has driven them to stalker standards, nevertheless managing to maintain general harmless behaviour.

3) The busy social people who are closet stalkers and blatant gossipers.

4) The bored unsocial people who are closet stalkers, silent envy-ers, God knows Best whether they are thus harmless or not.

5) The absolutely pretentious jobless narrow minded psuedo-well-meaning advice monger-ers; they read your words off wall posts, statuses, photo albums, comments to others and triple jump to their own conclusions and judgements, dragging in with them a barrage of blind followers.

6) The brain-numbed to the social scene gamers.

7) The finger-happy mindless 'like-ers'.

8) The attention-craving, at the speed of light status changers, who should be elsewhere twittering with their own kinds.

9) The absolutely confused newbies and equally confused old-bies who comment randomly on off-the-subject discuss worthy threads/statuses/pictures/posts.

10) The super cautious mind bogglingly terrified of where my information may go from here no picture false information empty profile thread bare friend list kind of users.

11) The perv kings and queens who want to jiggy with it via inbox... ''dear pls frand me you are beautiful my number is 14M57U91D [if you're visual you can read that as it was meant to be said] 0= )

12) The random friend request senders because you have mutual friends. Yes, we said Hi to each other once. Err... really? No, I knew your mom... Err... okay, so? Yes I saw you at the mall... Err... creep alert!

13) The genuine event, but random organisers who invite you to an event knowing you live across the globe and the event is today or tomorrow.

14) The god awful group inbox reply-ers who cannot see the difference between the ''reply to all'' and ''reply'' under the senders name buttons O_O

15) The picture stalkers who like your picture before you are done editing the caption on it after posting.

16) The friend list stalkers who soon after making friends eat your friend list with their eyes to instant friend request someone from your list to increase their number of **cough*friends*cough**. These are pretty similar to # 12 above.

17) The I know you well enough to make personal comments, ignorants. This lot should ASAP be deleted from your list. Those who are too polite to do so must suffer the consequences O_O

18) The one's who can't type lYk aDuLts or who hv 2 spk in wys tht r sre 2 bst a vA9 in ur i. This is not your mobile phone that charges you for every letter, nor are we in a hurry to communicate letters per second. Please type in full, else I won't read it. Thanks O_O

19) The ''lolz'' droppers at the end of a serious comment/compliment. It's like they're actually saying, '' ha ha ha in your face, FOO!'' =S

20) The one's who love to tag you in every ugly god forsaken picture.

21) The one's who read anything and everything you say, and think it's about them...

... 
... 

... So, which one are you?  0= )

Disgruntled Rants & Voiceless Diatribes!

Sheer exhaustion? Does that make one start to detest human company that makes noise (read speaks)? Anger management... Does that really work? Who decides who gets to manage the ''anger'' of another? Is there proof of how the one's enacting are not NOT acting? Humans are susceptible to anger, because they themselves hold the power to rouse it in another. As with the Promise of our Maker; for every ill that exists on this earth, with in it lies the cure for all ill it holds/allows too. That make any sense out there?

Them all vociferate too much, me thinks!
~ Meh!

Wise, that man |Lincoln, Elbert Hubbard, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Socrates| which ever of them truly saith:

 ''It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.''

Saturated Compliance...

My side of the story...
 

Saturated Compliance
To your Deceitful Alliance
Thank you for the Opportunity
But our Gratitude to you was just a Commodity
Two-facedly out of your way you did go
To blatantly placate and assure us with your ''prowess''
The honesty of Employees you flippantly Frayed
Complying by your incessant rules we quietly obeyed
But like a silent ruse, a goodbye we still feared
On standby we wait, our reins in your hands until you tire
And tomorrow inform us thus, of your plan earlier conspired
That us and our services ''sadly'', by you are no longer required

A Decapitated Yo-Yo; I

Flap your wings about, flail your empy hands away. Nothing seems or sounds right anymore. All your wretched todays begin to accumulate into a froth of monotonous distate. A malaise wretchedly familiar begins to take over. You work quite hard, but you discover that the wall you so diligently began building has met with yet another engineering challenge of sorts, and must come crumbling down before your eyes to its fate - yes - once again. You start piling up new bricks, start scurrying around for some emotion; cement, let's call it. But the supply is too low. I feel no more like constructing these walls that are destined to fall into a hapless mass of shambles. The foundation of me feels akin to this... these shambles. I find no strength with in me, to muster up any efforts with which to indicate that I care. The supply has been too scarce in my own experience when I most seem to have needed it, and now I wish to give back just that - what I have always seemed to have gotten; a sparingly limited supply of this much sought for care and its share.

Give, Do, Listen, Watch, Agree... these one sided actions are beginning to fester at the core of a me, whom I know not anymore. Take! Leave me just be please, before my sanity to et all I forsake!

Unsettled by 'My Own Self'

The sound of babies crying and children throwing tantrums (albeit the kinds unabated); leads to something at my core to tangle up into a major distress of sorts in the form of an untappable rage, controlled by a mere shred of I know not what, desperately trying not to snap or erupt. In that moment I feel like either a vein in my head will burst, or something else in front of my eyes right then and there should, in order to stop the sounds that my ears don't seem to be able to withstand.

A near second to this anomaly, is the sound of a quarrel between family members and their likes. This one is less volatile, more piercing to the heart, where in the heart feels like it will burst if their discord won't assuage sometime soon.

I didn't use to react like so.
What changed?

Unsettled being, I have been left to remain at times like such, not knowing my own self.

''Religion Police''

The past 30 years of my life, I have been born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Yes, the very country that to date is STILL heard of as being behind the times as far as rights of women are concerned. What was a sad sad sad thing to witness for me today, was that in 2010 - after having defended this country of its idiosyncrasies for so long - I was harassed by the very fanatics that most who have lived here as long or longer than I, thought were no more, if not all bygone by now...

Such, I realised today, was going to be a very far away tomorrow (if at all possible one day), for as long as this Monarchy were to reign. Why? Because Democracy would ensure that voices of the educated (slowly yet consistently increasing) be heard; be made to count. But until that were to happen, the Ignoramuses who claim to be the know it all's -rather demand it- will always bring disgrace to their creed, their religion, their people and the history of a religion that to me is my very spirit - Islam!

I am ashamed by the actions of a select few who demand that all and sundry convert to their interpretation of the Holy Grail. I am ashamed to share the same belief system, that seems to be practiced on a whole another level by some who seem to have lost the very essence of what they claim to believe in - simply because they are too lost in following this system as it was handed down to them without question, somewhere having been intertwined with cultural beliefs that began to confuse themselves with the core of these religious beliefs that in my minds eye, all lead to the same God, the same teachings and the SAME essence.

I do not belong to the fanatics. I do not wish to belong to anyone, anywhere NEAR them... What upsets me is that these fanatics that still run free -thank God not rampant- are the ones who make even their own brethren HATE muslims like them when they inflict pain and hypocrisy first hand to their fellow humans - thinking they are the direct messengers of God Himself (Astaghfirullah).

The last I checked - Lakum Deenakum Walya Deen  [Quran 109:6] - is what our esteemed beloved Prophet Muhammad pbuh taught us, and that is what we have in the teachings of our Quran...

What makes some MEN believe that they are the custodians of Islam, the soldiers of its message, the beholders of its authenticity, I'll never be able to fathom! Thus, I pray to my Maker, swt,  to give me the patience to not react to the ignorance of this 'religion police', and be blessed with never having to face their lot upfront ever again, insha'Allah... Ameen!

I Don't Understand Why

In the deadlock of your own words,
You let your emotions churn; then burn,
Suffocating yourself into a spiraling mayhem
Unleashed from an unwanted yearn,
Ghastly spirit of which you thought
Was never again going to return.
But caught up with you it has -damn it-
When you were least expecting it,
And left you spent it has once again,
Hating yourself for being so unsuspecting
Of its power on return.
Thus locked in a furnace
Of your own silent moans,
Wide eyed awake you lie crying,
Hushing yourself to reach out once again
Towards that Silent Omnipresence
To calm you down yet again please,
Before your turmoil drags you past sober
Wishing for all things to come to a resounding end.



When my eyes are closed the greatest stories get told; On awakening I find my dreams shattered on the floor... To free my soul, where do I go... I sometimes find it trapped in between somewhere being alone and no place else to go...

(These last lines are from a song called, ''Heartbreaker'', by Enrique Iglesius. The changes have been made to make it personal for myself -that is- how I feel about things. I saw them this way for myself when I heard him say them his way in his words.)

Severed Friendship

Curiosity got the best of me
As I in search of you, set off to see
Whatever nimble fingers could find
By clicking pages on a surfing webbed line
Perhaps a recent picture of you?
Remembered from a time bygone
Perhaps a picture of those two;
Your mister boo, a tiny new you?
I heard of her from those who stayed
In your life from then on till today
They spoke of you and they asked me why
We knew not of each others lives?
In a quiet conversation with my self
My heart began to visit that day again
When asked I was to stay away from you then
With shocked emotions I had thus reacted
With time I'd convinced myself to become placid
And so I had kept myself away from you; his wife
A friend so dear I had lost to his fright
Her lies, her fears, her weakness, her woes
Had made a joke of my honest support
My prayers uncountable for them that I had pleaded
Had been called blasphemy, and to hell I had been bid
Thereby quiet in solitude I chose to remain
If husband and wife felt this lie was their gain
Then contest I would not their heinous claim
Yes I had been hurt, but so be it,
Leave you to live in denial I would
And myself refrain from calling you a liar
The truth of my seemingly futile defense
I pray would not become the bane of your pretense
Today to see your daughter my heart may pine
I'll hear her laughter in my memories of you, albeit confined
Deep in the recesses of my heart of yesterday
I'll peek therein to find some of her in your youth
Pray for your well being I shall always continue
For it was only in human weakness
That I let my curiosity go look for you
On seeing a glance of your happy life
My fingers in writing began to construe
A reminisced journey from then unto now
And realised I thus in lieu:
Love you still I do to this day
In denial I too shall quietly stay
The promise I made, I will still keep
I'll tell you not that I miss you sweet
As The Lord is my witness
My prayer for you will always be
That may the lives of you two be replete
With happiness and blessings unto eternity. 

InshaAllah...
Ameen!

To Have Lived?

When you allow yourself to be touched by the mist of misery that exists around you - the misery that you feel entirely helpless against, to do anything to help abate it from around you - that is when your hope to live in this ruthless brutal world diminishes... Your dreams to live long enough to see the beauty that this world and its people have to offer, start taking the form of clouds... Clouds full of hypocrisy, ephemeral facades comprising of divine mirages that are not the longed for oasis one needs to quench their thirst with; rather just clouds that are ready to burst upon you - else cocoon you - based on which state your spirit is in, in that moment.

To go back into the vacuum of the mind where in just you exist, or to live with your eyes and ears open - all senses alive and functioning - allowing you to see the realities that exist beyond your self?

To have catered to your own needs; is to have lived?

Or...

To feel for another, their pain, grief, happiness; is to have lived?

Relentless Ignorance

I was reading The Huffington Post online, when I came across an article written by Asif Shahzad, an Associated Press writer. On reaching the end of the article my mind went into a reaction of torrid anger mixed with utter disbelief over some of God's creatures that sadly fall under the guise of 'mankind'... I quote the said words as follows,

''... Since the floods first swept the country, the Taliban and al-Qaida have been relatively quiet. But on Monday, three bomb attacks rocked the northwest, one of which killed the head of an anti-Taliban militia on the outskirts of the main city of Peshawar.'' 

When one reads an article about natural disasters resulting in human crisis and grief, end on a note such as above - One is rendered speechless for some time, thinking about the absolute blindness of some men who have dug themselves SO INTRICATELY deep into a hole of ignorance and sheeple mindset, that they are unable to save themselves from a darkness which has folded them and their being into an infinite evil grasp!

Such are the people who have stripped themselves of their rights to be identified as one of mankind.

There is not a shred of kindness, or its like, that remains in them. They are a ''condition''  which he who is flabbargasted by it, can only leave in the Hands of a Maker of us all to deal with them in True Justice as can only be deemed appropriate by Him Alone.

And Allah (swt) Knows Best...

May he send down from His infinite mercy and Blessings, a cover and relief to his creatures so desperately and morbidly grief ridden...

Ameen!  

Humanity Drowned?

In glitz galore they lived on oblivious
While voices of gored shrilled rampant
In a world assuaged with grief and trials

Deaf were the ears of those around
And their eyes reverted away in defiance
Care not they to lend a hand of aided alliance

Lives lost in numbers growing ever more
Useless in price to the big guns of show
Alas what remains is a hapless facade of families no more

Washed away their cores, their hopes before being formed
Their voices unheard remain lost in an endless storm
In glitz galore the others function on unharmed;
Oblivious, unmoved, entranced with their worldly trysts.