Fake, Flaky, or Forgetful?

They speak to you as if they've never spoken to you before. You remember the room, the lighting, the questions, the laughter and everyone else who was present there each time you had met before. They leave you flummoxed. They keep doing it again and gain. You keep smiling through it each time and reintroduce yourself, when spoken to the next time (again). They leave you perplexed. Close the door? Walk away? Stop smiling? Perhaps just decide to be kind. Yes, again.

Let's Look Into Our Mirrors?

Flawed beings demanding perfection?
Ostentatious – Ridiculous – Preposterous!
Blind to the reflections of imperfections
That stare them in their face
Focused on counting
what’s not right in others
Rejecting reality and living facades
Portraying the decay of their heart
Exhibiting grotesque beliefs
that reside in a cavity of
culturally misconstrued
culturally maligned
and culturally misguided
utter nonsensical paradigms
that failed themselves to begin with
and are now being cast
upon you!
Yes, upon you and I!

Away From The Hubbub

                                                         Listening and watching in silence

To all that's happening; she then sighs

Questioning herself to find a balance

To not respond in angry sarcasm

Others actions remain beyond her control

Managing emotions; crushing moans and groans

Adulation of things that will die

Eternity being mocked, as if a lie

Fusion of fashions, loud and aglow

Discussion of religion 

As if at a performance or a show

The clock keeps on ticking

Days on end keep slipping

Years roll into a decade

Where is it that she is headed?

Turning to the only Steady she knows

Throws herself into a bow on the floor

Supplicating for the gaps to fill

And not let her heart escape its till

Sanctimonious worship will get no one by

The soul has to join the heart as it cries

Reaching out to a seemingly oblivion

Allowing hope to sing and be ridden

On a glorious glimmering black stallion 

To a place that can only be God’s Haven…

Insha’Allah – Ameen.

Grief

It’s one of those things that every human goes through in their own way; each moment - deep, surrounded by the sorrow of memories that flood you. There are those who speak their heart out, face the people concerned, and talk about it, ask about it. There are those who silently pray from afar, transfixed in the news of their loss, unable to physically do anything to help. There are those, who try facing the people, do little to help in matters on hand because someone else already seems to be handling it, and so they stay on the sidelines, struggling to find the right words, wishing not to add to the burden by asking too much and making the people repeat the stories of their pain, of how it happened, what’s happening now, etc. praying from a distance, ever ready to do anything asked if need be. But what remains a constant in each situation of people, is the pain. Whether someone was close, or family, or a friend, or an acquaintance… everyone’s pain IS pain. Perhaps the different ways of expressing it (or the lack of ability to express it at all) may not be agreed upon by everyone culturally, religiously… but the expression and reaction is ultimately for God to know… for our duas and supplications are sent out to him. Those who are able to, will get their feelings across to the families in some way shape or form… but it won’t be until many more weeks from the time of when it all happened, that they might remember and actually respond to your having been there at the time… Regardless of the myriads


Suffer in silence… withdrawn into a quiet stupor.
Suffer in silence… morbid thoughts of a moment over.
Suffer in silence… vulgar words in memory spoken.
Suffer in silence… people many yet people absent.
Suffer in silence… incensed thoughts emotions awaken.
Suffer in silence… until tomorrows glimpse of a new horizon

You, Whom I Used To Know...

What is the meaning of this, ''Here today... Gone tomorrow...''

Why are you set on repeat? Teaching a new story each time,

Lessons replete; some unpalatable, some in retrospect meant to be a treat,

What is the meaning of this, ''A part of me, you - yet later - no more?''

Why are you transient; with your lessons of stubborn impermanence!

Oh, the new you's, the old few's - the heart, perplexedly, doth wonder...

* Dedicated to friendships... The song, 'cos the chorus sat well with the sentiment - the rest, enjoyable nevertheless too :D

Why Do We Jump To Act God?

I am not a leader, so I cannot imagine what it is like to be one. Having said that, I am a Muslim who believes in The One Lord; Most Merciful, Most Forgiving. If I expect of Him to have mercy on me, forgive me, then as a follower I sure feel obliged to at least practice that which I ardently hope to in the end myself receive. At the end of all discourse, Allah swt remains Knowing Best... SubhaanAllah.

Charades of the Work Force

Ostentatious

the behavior of humans

Depressingly sad

how deep corruption seethes

Volatile

their vicious ammunition

Discord abound

it breeds into creeds

Blasphemous

their promises of things being fair

Malicious disparity

is all they amongst colleagues fruitlessly bear

Disgusting

how matters stand from this vantage point

And Allah swt Always Knows Best.

That Finger That Points At Others...

... Yes it irks me!

For every piece of news we seem to get hold of, in these globally advanced times of ours; every discovery has to be glamourised, or at least hyped oh so much, that the listener in response either gapes, hates, or cries. Yes, interpret those reactions as you may!

Every nation, culture, and religion has one thing in common. They're all comprised of human beings. These human beings, based on the beliefs of the Abrahamic scriptures (I won't claim to presume about other religions, for I have not read of them enough), are designed in such a fashion that renders them susceptible to erring; the very reason for man to be set down on earth. If humans were mistake-free, or the epitome of perfection, then the very connotation of angels would be moot or void.

The fact that human beings are not perfect, leaves the door open to one, two, or few going astray - perhaps some more yet, having a mean streak stretched beyond what is comprehensible by the majority. The general good all of mankind collects to agree upon, regardless of creed and sect, just as they mostly do over the general bad. But offlate, the trend seems to be name calling; in the name of religion, country, groups, etc. 

-If one person belonging to your group goes astray, does that make the entire group lost? 

-If one person from a specific sect claims to say something that is disagreeable, does that bound everyone from that sect to the same thought/rigidity/stance? 

-If one person from 'x' country does something one way, does that make all citizens of that nation duty bound to do things that very same way? 

-If one person (or even 10) from religion 'y' interpret their rituals and duties as doing certain things in a certain manner, does that mean that all who claim to be under the umbrella of this faith will, and do, every thing that very same way?
Why are communities, nations, and a people being stoked and stroked by a quick smearing of the same brush? Why are we confining ourselves to the limitations of a single story, when what we really need to do is expose ourselves to the possibility of something more that may -and often does- exist beyond our myopic exposure? Why does it have to come down to either Muslims being terrorists, or Americans being Conspirators, while all Indians and Pakistanis being doctors and IT people, and all Arabs owning oil wells and camels, not to forget that all Brits have to have horrible dental hygiene, and everyone in Antarctica lives in Igloos! 

I guess by now, the ones reading who have a working grey matter would have caught on my drift, and woe.

One can only hope so much... and pray, if you're thus inclined...

*sigh*

Walls

Brick by brick the walls are tumbling down. Years of sweat being washed away? Voices of old that used to speak, today lie quivering - feeling weak. Pictures on mantels, walls - all framed; glistening memories of yesterdays remains. Todays all get swept under thread bare rugs. Brooms that hang on to dusty pieces - hankering against letting them go. Airport trips, and moistened feathers with trickled jewels that linger in vain. Wiped shall all be when they return with trophies and degrees of achievements gained. Jobs that consume lives already wrought, leaving tired eyes to see. With broken hearts and heavy souls they wander oblivious to others wretched pleas. Amidst each beating existence exists a trail that is intricately walked upon. And on each trail whilst juggling their own bits, they stumble into the mass of their fragile thunder thoughts. To each his own, when life shall end - not a soul knows of its own destined terrain. Tirelessly they walk, some even fighting sanity's doctrine. What is right or wrong, between voices impolite is lost, and inhumanity's disease is what is left to blame. Brick by brick the walls fall down. Only a handful or two, in the end still stand - tarnished, yet still perhaps able to start again.

The Maria Tag Report - albeit 9 months too late O_O

Once upon a ''tag'' ago, I had thought about what I would write. Although what transpired was simply a calendar marathon; almost a year since has been tucked in to sleep. Amidst random musings this body was re-awoken to give it a fresh shot, this time, in a more wordy fashion and not just virtual scrawls inside the head. Therefore, without much further ado - Tagged post - On your marks - Get set - GO!

1. Make up and Heels are over-rated. Asides from the Hindustani Nari (2nd meaning on link) must have  kajal - I could do with out all else.

2. I prefer the company of men, in comparison to ''most'' women. Female giggles and shrilly banter makes me try out new techniques in my head, devicing painful murder ideas.

3. I find people who use 'cute', 'amazing' and 'awesome' for most of their descriptions of things, aggravating! We all at some point DID get out of high school, right? So why not - the Im so cool pet lingo too? =S

4. I don't think women need to dress slutty, in order to state their femininity. All their noise over it being for themselves, to me is ***wash! After all, men aren't expected to expose ''their package'' in order to look good for themselves, are they?

5. I don't think all babies are cute --- Based on many true stories.

6. I think loud voices should be outlawed - especially the argumentative sorts. Shrilly voices should be used as punishment against the perpetrators.

7. Prudes are people in denial. Deep down they love it. Yes, I said it.

8. Sometimes I think I need anger management.

9. I often think about running away from home and getting amnesia; in that order.

10. I'd like to speak my mind to some people, but because I don't, it has led to #8.


I wonder if the above were tag worthy. Nevertheless, that would be all for now folks... as the cliche goes, different strokes for different folks!

~Peace out!

The Fear of Death/Acceptance of Life

Crossing over

such a cleaver to the head?

It's just a moment

When your breath comes to a final end...

... only to live on for sure.

Perhaps our real fear and worry

should lie in making haste

towards deeds that would allow us

to reach that aspired for shore!

... inshaAllah, Ameen!

Facebook Users

*Picture credits, all individually go to those who made them. I only accumulated them from the web and put them in a collage.
     
*Disclaimer: This is not meant to ridicule Facebook itself, rather just some of it's ''users'' **cough*abusers*cough**

Facebook-ers as I've seen them. Some I love to bits, regardless of their idiosyncrasies. Some... I'd rather not say what I really want to about them. Politeness wins. Nevertheless, my take on them all below:


1) The general social people who are there to keep in touch, the normal acceptable way.

2) The bored social people whose boredom has driven them to stalker standards, nevertheless managing to maintain general harmless behaviour.

3) The busy social people who are closet stalkers and blatant gossipers.

4) The bored unsocial people who are closet stalkers, silent envy-ers, God knows Best whether they are thus harmless or not.

5) The absolutely pretentious jobless narrow minded psuedo-well-meaning advice monger-ers; they read your words off wall posts, statuses, photo albums, comments to others and triple jump to their own conclusions and judgements, dragging in with them a barrage of blind followers.

6) The brain-numbed to the social scene gamers.

7) The finger-happy mindless 'like-ers'.

8) The attention-craving, at the speed of light status changers, who should be elsewhere twittering with their own kinds.

9) The absolutely confused newbies and equally confused old-bies who comment randomly on off-the-subject discuss worthy threads/statuses/pictures/posts.

10) The super cautious mind bogglingly terrified of where my information may go from here no picture false information empty profile thread bare friend list kind of users.

11) The perv kings and queens who want to jiggy with it via inbox... ''dear pls frand me you are beautiful my number is 14M57U91D [if you're visual you can read that as it was meant to be said] 0= )

12) The random friend request senders because you have mutual friends. Yes, we said Hi to each other once. Err... really? No, I knew your mom... Err... okay, so? Yes I saw you at the mall... Err... creep alert!

13) The genuine event, but random organisers who invite you to an event knowing you live across the globe and the event is today or tomorrow.

14) The god awful group inbox reply-ers who cannot see the difference between the ''reply to all'' and ''reply'' under the senders name buttons O_O

15) The picture stalkers who like your picture before you are done editing the caption on it after posting.

16) The friend list stalkers who soon after making friends eat your friend list with their eyes to instant friend request someone from your list to increase their number of **cough*friends*cough**. These are pretty similar to # 12 above.

17) The I know you well enough to make personal comments, ignorants. This lot should ASAP be deleted from your list. Those who are too polite to do so must suffer the consequences O_O

18) The one's who can't type lYk aDuLts or who hv 2 spk in wys tht r sre 2 bst a vA9 in ur i. This is not your mobile phone that charges you for every letter, nor are we in a hurry to communicate letters per second. Please type in full, else I won't read it. Thanks O_O

19) The ''lolz'' droppers at the end of a serious comment/compliment. It's like they're actually saying, '' ha ha ha in your face, FOO!'' =S

20) The one's who love to tag you in every ugly god forsaken picture.

21) The one's who read anything and everything you say, and think it's about them...

... 
... 

... So, which one are you?  0= )

Uninspired

This was not her call

She was not enthralled

Opaque windows, tinted bygones

On a road yonder

A wanderer in her heart she found

Barricades risen like blooming hail

Wishy -washy thoughts amidst them sail

Amidst the cries that laugh and hurl

Words hollow, blows unfurled

Tinsel town with intricate shadows

Names like tags on pages followed

This was not her call

She was not enthralled

Even on fingers they lasted not;

Numbers few, remained through life's cast

Haunts That Taunt; Salvation Sought!

You've done this before, and You'll help again; again and again, as many times as help shall be needed or sought. With this faith I find myself able to survive. It is the crossroads that I have arrived on again. The before has become alive now, and this now is harder to forget than it was before. Could it be that I had been so successful in dealing with the gravity of it all in the past, that I have forgotten the struggle of it then? Could it be possible that the struggle anew is to remind myself of the good that can come of it, if successfully dealt with again? What fails to make sense is, why that? Why that, which no one else would understand unless they were to have lived it, seen it, or been through something akin to it themselves? Someone who is not aware of the issue can never understand the issue. Between this logic I see a thin road that is hard for all to tread. Barely any are able to find a foothold firm enough to get past a step or two at best. The test for me remains, to keep my silence and maintain respect despite the odds. My love for her lives in my soul, for her to know, for Him to bless, and for me to be able to successfully share with her. This I find hard, but am adamant to achieve it, sooner than later. It is the silently monitored respect for the other half that I find interspersed between a better me and a weak me. The better me had succeeded in forgiving, but the weaker me could not forget. The better me had managed to bury if not forget for most part, but the weaker me has managed to let it trickle back into my now as it stands today. It's unwelcome presence in my now is affecting my better judgment and making me more weaker than better. My fight against the weaker me, is essential for me to be able to find some peace for my eternity. Without that goal to achieve, my existence feels lost and wasted. In the trapped hollow of that one wretched WHY, I cannot allow myself to despair and excuse all my wrongs. While being judged for my weaknesses, I pray for a renewal of strength, faith, and guidance from You, The One Who Knows Best, and to be saved from losing my way on the slippery road of pride and its other wretched brethren. In Your All Empowering Light I hope to be Enveloped, In Your All Healing Embrace I pine to be Held.

In aspirations thus I let my tears glide over my guilt and wrong doings that I am aware of, or not, and with this prayer I struggle towards some residue of peace to be found...

... InshaAllah, Ameen!

Disgruntled Rants & Voiceless Diatribes!

Sheer exhaustion? Does that make one start to detest human company that makes noise (read speaks)? Anger management... Does that really work? Who decides who gets to manage the ''anger'' of another? Is there proof of how the one's enacting are not NOT acting? Humans are susceptible to anger, because they themselves hold the power to rouse it in another. As with the Promise of our Maker; for every ill that exists on this earth, with in it lies the cure for all ill it holds/allows too. That make any sense out there?

Them all vociferate too much, me thinks!
~ Meh!

Wise, that man |Lincoln, Elbert Hubbard, Mark Twain, Benjamin Franklin, Socrates| which ever of them truly saith:

 ''It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.''

Unimportant Fool

One feels stifled and wonders untiringly so, over the ache that comes from not knowing where to belong; who to belong to. There remains only One constant through all the dries, through all the cries, there remains only One constant one can turn to and cry their angst to. There seems to be no place to call home, there seems to be no person who knows you. In fact, they seem to work like the mechanics of a clock, where in some parts work in desperate compliance while the single or more who dare to defy work under constant emotional abuse to end up in a heaped corner comprised of a wretched mix of perpetual defiance and miserable compliance for the sake of survival. Where does one go when there is a lack of means to get to anywhere but here? What does one do when there is only a lack of possibilities doable that exist? Who does one turn to when there is not a single soul that hears it without derision or insult instead of with patience or even a morsel of respect that it aches to be accorded. How does one fit in a slot when while trying to do so there are constant pins pricking it, drills drilling it, hammers hammering it, and voices vacillating it? What ever cords one manages to nourish, the fatigue amassed from such intense repeats manages to derail and disappoint. Useless, Worthless, Unimportant; one is left to feel. Finding that place and people to belong to exists as a wasted dream. Finding peace in a life away from this world's is all that seems important; is all that one aches for in one's now, inshaAllah...
Ameen!

Impostors

Impostors we are, gliding past shadows our own, convincing ourselves of being someone else. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder; conflicting thoughts incessantly manifest from this golden adage. In reality we judge ourselves more times than another could, while those of us that really need to, remain cast inside the immunity of our denial. Simple beings exist in a minority, at least from being obvious they do actively refrain. Complexity is the new it. It draws attention, it demands to make a stand, it dares to contradict. In the differences of opinion do we exist as humans, while in arguing the differences we highlight our flaws. Complacence in all can only be aspired for; beauty, peace, and all that exists between right or wrong.

© Hayaah

Hubris Beings; We

Hubris beings we, susceptible to fall by the very nature of our existence. To pride ourselves of our goodness, greatness, blessings, etc. is a dangerous path to tread. When the pot holes trip us into a fall infinite or unbreakable in nature, we never know. We must rush to embrace humility, lest humiliation stares us in the face first! Escape from disgrace in this life, we might manage, but our failings from Him (swt) will never go unseen; unless we have truly repented (or so we hope and pray, inshaAllah).

Allah (swt) Knows Best...

Allahumma innaka affuwwun tuhibbul afwa fa'fu anni 

Tooting One's Own Horn

What is with that, I've always wondered. What exactly is it that enables some of us to go on and talk about ourselves; about how ''good'' we are at this, how ''fabulous'' we look in that, how ''brilliant'' our work is, how ''lovable'' we are, etc. The list obviously goes on. Knowing that we may be good at something, fabulous in some way, brilliant in another, lovable and hug-able, bed bath body and beyond, is one thing - Tooting one's own horn blatantly, another. I sort of instantly recoil when someone does this, at most times. Perhaps there is an art of being able to not sell oneself short without screaming your assets off the top of a skyscraper? I don't understand how this works. Is it pride full throttle that fuels this behavior, is it the kind of upbringing one has had, is it an inbuilt personality defect, an amalgamation of all these things, or is it something else?

Me, personally; I guess I shall forever just be amazed at how some do it so casually and actually get people to be fascinated by it, while myself silently, I'll try fighting away its distastefulness. Finding the balance between being judgmental and having an opinion sucks. How we express our opinion on the subject is of essence in deciding whether we are being the horrid beasts who 'judge', or if we are simply taking a stand on our thoughts and opinions...

Funny Mysteries we; Humans.

Frivol- ity/ous

Frivolity

Do you even stop to enjoy it
Do you get to take part in it and savour it
Do you get to save it
Do you think it's worth it

Frivolous

I wonder what we all get by being it
I wonder if we feel, per se
I wonder what we'd do if we could
I wonder if that would stop us

From being so.