Aspiring to not plead, but be offered...

The weary pendulum keeps swaying back and forth in between making a resolute decision one day and having debilitating questions foam back up to the point of drowning me on another. Words spoken keep coming back of their own accord; haunting me. It doesn't make sense for the one to have said such things, albeit in only a half attentive part sleepy state, but for one to simply disappear mid-throbbing-conversation...? It is a whole another ask of me to leave where one is not wanted. But, to leave where one was assured they are dearly wanted... this, this is an unkind thing to be asked to do.

'Are you trying to figure out how to do this, or are you precariously bordering on an unappetising form of stalking?'

Surely making dua'as for a person's well being absolves me or my actions of being saddled with a negative label. If only the road blocks would be removed, and the walls of silence pierced... Perhaps then some answers could be found to appease the roaring ravaged mind that is left in the wake of this storm. The soul refuses to back down and sit in silence. Amidst prayer it needs to also do all it can before it must accept failure and lay down to rest all it's arms, in order to find some semblance of peace.

''You should not have to plead, you deserve to be offered.'' This keeps playing back in my mind, over and over on repeat.

Inn Allaaha Ma'as Saabireen. Allahu Musta'an. Allahumma Antas Salaam.

''Allah is the Protector of those who believe. He brings them out from darkness into light.''
(Al-Quran 2:257)

''Oh Allah, place within my heart light, and upon my tongue light, and within my ears light, and within my eyes light, and place behind me light and in front of me light and above me light and beneath me light. O Allah, Bestow upon me light.''

Ameen.

The Art of Keeping the Heart Alive

You’re at your lowest when the heart starts sinking and everything seems hopeless,
Then you remind yourself that everything, despite what is apparent, is for your greater good,
And this is when the steadiness of faith kicks in; Things fall back into perspective,
Hope surfaces again, Faith leads the former weak self to a stable place of peace and contentment,
Knowing that all is right because each time it was the Best of Planners Who lead it to where it got,
One can only taste the sweetness of this place if one has been blessed with practicing
The art of keeping the heart alive through His remembrance, His Tasbih, His Dhikr:
Allah is the Best of Planners and He is sufficient for us – HasbunAllahi Wanemal Wakeel,
Lahawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah – There is no might nor power except by Allah.

You Turned Into a Monster...

Sometimes you’re pushed to the point when any random sound or action may snap you and take you to a place that never was you, and normally never will be you. You refuse to have anything to do with this person that you may in that moment turn into. This snap is unreal. You become this ugly ferocious monster whom you would never interact with, ever… How do you stop yourself from slipping into that mask? You’re going to be held responsible, no matter what your excuses for not knowing yourself in that moment be. So, stop. Breathe. Audhubillahi min ashaytaan irajeem – lahawla wala quwwata ill billa – and save urself.

The Wait...

Agnes Obel - Just So : Lyrics

Powered by mp3ye.eu


Enticed by a glimmering hope you rise, out of the slumber you had been existing in, awoken to dreams anew. You dared, you waited, you fumbled, and you stood still while reality dawned. Crestfallen, you raised your eyes to the sky, you cried your heart out to He Who designs all things, you found solace in the peace His remembrance gave your heart, and you calmed down.

Peace… some peace had embraced your heart, soothed your mind, wiped away your tears, and promised you to wait some more before starting to dream again. There was still a lot that needed to be washed off and cleaned before those dreams could become a reality…

Perhaps.

La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah…
La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah…
La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah…

*La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah - There is no might nor power except the One God.