Misunderstandings and Gaps

Sometimes we get so used to having conversations with ourselves that we forget how much gets lost when we don't actually speak all that was in our head to people. What was said out loud and what wasn't becomes a blur and misunderstands happen. Only compassion can heal such slips. Usually of a Divine kind. Us people seldom have such a big heart.

You, Whom I Used To Know...

What is the meaning of this, ''Here today... Gone tomorrow...''

Why are you set on repeat? Teaching a new story each time,

Lessons replete; some unpalatable, some in retrospect meant to be a treat,

What is the meaning of this, ''A part of me, you - yet later - no more?''

Why are you transient; with your lessons of stubborn impermanence!

Oh, the new you's, the old few's - the heart, perplexedly, doth wonder...

* Dedicated to friendships... The song, 'cos the chorus sat well with the sentiment - the rest, enjoyable nevertheless too :D

Today I Was Happy...

the weepies little bird mp3 | lyrics

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All my rights and wrongs came together today to celebrate me turning all of thirty and one. A silly feel good trick of my dear friend had me giggling whilst telling those who asked, how I turned four today, because three plus one is only four after all; silly nothings really... yet deep down, they all comprised to make a day full of blessings oh so sweet and humbling. Wishes coming from all corners of the world and all parts of my yesterdays and todays; all truly making me realise that no matter how little or big the birds around me be, they all come flying down upon me with love, affection, and good wishes of happiness. I shall strive thus in my tomorrows -inshaAllah- to be a better me to my all... Thank you my world of people; for loving me so truly, I must have done something somewhere to be so blessed, Alhumdulillah O Rabbi Al Ameen!!!

Resilience Through A Reminisce?

Rihanna:
 

The things we do for attention
For a little moment in which to be noticed
All for what?
A test after test after test after test...
This too shall pass
It all has to date
You too shall become a memory
Hopefully to fade faster
Now that time has given us
Ample practice to weather such storms and breezes
Or just a slight draft even
Frail no more shall we be!
Force ourselves to be sturdy
Brush our shoulders we shall
No pain shall we let through
Resilience is the love that shall be ours to stay
Hope is our companion through pebbles such
That are strewn haphazardly along our every way
Let our head hang low we wont - Nay!
Our heart shall not dwell in dismay
What length and width giveth our silly moments and time
To something so trivial!
  A mountain of age old molehill
Boredom perhaps has tilled?
Who knows whether potential it had
Or was simply imagined
Another day, another plan
Time shall surely unravel
And in its wait our patience shall be the guide
Assuring that no disdain or angst
In our life shall stay too long to tar or mar
Our faith in all those whom we wish to remain by our side
In times of reminisce when we sit back tomorrow...

...inshaAllah, Ameen!

Delicately Plotted Lies

To have the ground pulled out from beneath your feet... To have been lied to...
When you felt that all in your world was right, 'cos in that one soul you entrusted all of your strife,
And for that one soul - you nearly gave away your still young and naive (or so now it seems) life,
Only to find that everything he'd said, shared, and put in visible sight,
Had been nothing but distorted, preplanned cards of his lies, and a non existent semi-life.
How much of what he'd said, had morsels of truth in it?
How much of what you thought were his kids, his feuds - really true?
From the looks of it, your heart in vain, in that time had sat down to pine.
From your findings post hankerings today - all of it had been vines and vines and just more vines,
Full of contorted lies, lies, and some more lies - that he'd been using to fill up with images devised just for your eyes,
And all this, his time and moment today, were at peace with despite crossing ethical ties...
While on a chance or fluke, let's call it, you fell upon a link today - leaving your suspicions aghast,
Stared on you did, at what was printed in fine ink - your eyes from behind a layer of un-shed dew,
Saw it all - Alas! What you had been lovingly fed; a meticulously prepared broth of deceitful stew!
She was proof of his loins, no more did I wish to find out any more...
Was my reality back then fabricated, a partial convenience, or who knows in how many parts true?
No more him or of him did I want my mind to think, or my heart care - No, damn sure no more!
All thoughts of him, as they used to stand and did too, until today,
Dear Mind, you must please eliminate them from the core of your all,
Their disgrace and everything that in it's lieu, has in your life happened, 
From this moment on, must be made to decease; no more be thought of, or in any way thus spewed.

Misplaced Faith...

someone like you adele mp3 | lyrics

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Where I saw perfection,
You saw distaste,
With time's intervention
And some deep introspection,
I realised it all was God's blessed grace...

... Alhumdulillah!

Facebook Users

*Picture credits, all individually go to those who made them. I only accumulated them from the web and put them in a collage.
     
*Disclaimer: This is not meant to ridicule Facebook itself, rather just some of it's ''users'' **cough*abusers*cough**

Facebook-ers as I've seen them. Some I love to bits, regardless of their idiosyncrasies. Some... I'd rather not say what I really want to about them. Politeness wins. Nevertheless, my take on them all below:


1) The general social people who are there to keep in touch, the normal acceptable way.

2) The bored social people whose boredom has driven them to stalker standards, nevertheless managing to maintain general harmless behaviour.

3) The busy social people who are closet stalkers and blatant gossipers.

4) The bored unsocial people who are closet stalkers, silent envy-ers, God knows Best whether they are thus harmless or not.

5) The absolutely pretentious jobless narrow minded psuedo-well-meaning advice monger-ers; they read your words off wall posts, statuses, photo albums, comments to others and triple jump to their own conclusions and judgements, dragging in with them a barrage of blind followers.

6) The brain-numbed to the social scene gamers.

7) The finger-happy mindless 'like-ers'.

8) The attention-craving, at the speed of light status changers, who should be elsewhere twittering with their own kinds.

9) The absolutely confused newbies and equally confused old-bies who comment randomly on off-the-subject discuss worthy threads/statuses/pictures/posts.

10) The super cautious mind bogglingly terrified of where my information may go from here no picture false information empty profile thread bare friend list kind of users.

11) The perv kings and queens who want to jiggy with it via inbox... ''dear pls frand me you are beautiful my number is 14M57U91D [if you're visual you can read that as it was meant to be said] 0= )

12) The random friend request senders because you have mutual friends. Yes, we said Hi to each other once. Err... really? No, I knew your mom... Err... okay, so? Yes I saw you at the mall... Err... creep alert!

13) The genuine event, but random organisers who invite you to an event knowing you live across the globe and the event is today or tomorrow.

14) The god awful group inbox reply-ers who cannot see the difference between the ''reply to all'' and ''reply'' under the senders name buttons O_O

15) The picture stalkers who like your picture before you are done editing the caption on it after posting.

16) The friend list stalkers who soon after making friends eat your friend list with their eyes to instant friend request someone from your list to increase their number of **cough*friends*cough**. These are pretty similar to # 12 above.

17) The I know you well enough to make personal comments, ignorants. This lot should ASAP be deleted from your list. Those who are too polite to do so must suffer the consequences O_O

18) The one's who can't type lYk aDuLts or who hv 2 spk in wys tht r sre 2 bst a vA9 in ur i. This is not your mobile phone that charges you for every letter, nor are we in a hurry to communicate letters per second. Please type in full, else I won't read it. Thanks O_O

19) The ''lolz'' droppers at the end of a serious comment/compliment. It's like they're actually saying, '' ha ha ha in your face, FOO!'' =S

20) The one's who love to tag you in every ugly god forsaken picture.

21) The one's who read anything and everything you say, and think it's about them...

... 
... 

... So, which one are you?  0= )

Why, The Age Old, Why...

So you cry? Or do you choose to live the lies? Somewhere there are those who die. Somewhere there are those who live, but still won't. Where was it that you left her? Was it you who swept her, off her feet to places unknown? Was it you who forgot? Or, was it she who forgot? Where were you when the time came to live the promises? Was it you who broke them, or was it time who was the blamed mistress? Was it circumstance that came in the way, or was it weakness; perhaps fear the evil seamstress? Why was she not the one, while ''she'' was? Why were you not the one, when there was no one else? Why was loneliness so astute when patience was perched at a precipice? Why were answers sought, for questions already answered? Why did time deem it necessary to rewind vacant musings that held no good with in them? With in the why's lay another fold to the mysteries.

Rolling In The Deep

Adele: Rolling in the deep


Exactly how it feels... for the person I knew when I knew you.
But... the person that now exists because of you, I fail to understand.
The memory of her comes alive when it knows the words to this song.
The body of her quietens it.
The soul of her, prays for you and her... and her.

~ FiamaanAllah

The Reel Rewound Itself

Her innocence was soiled
Her hopes
Her feelings
Her aspirations too

Then time played its toil
Her feelings uncoiled
And in a him her hopes
Aspired to live through

Her hopes were boiled
Life churned her feelings aside
And him she lost
Giving priority to her religious aspirations

Her innocence was soiled
Her hopes
Her feelings
Her aspirations too

Then time played its toil
Her feelings still coy
A friend found his way through
Giving her hope anew

Her aspirations changed
He played with her games
In hopes unfulfilled she remained
To greener pastures he trod off to leaving her shamed

Her innocence was soiled
Her hopes
Her feelings
Her aspirations too

Then time played its toil
Her emotions uncoiled
To his tune of reassurance
That ignited hope in her aspirations again

He spun his wonderful tales
Once enraptured was she
Truth he then confessed
And on a whole new level broke her entirety

Her innocence was soiled
Her hopes
Her feelings
Her aspirations too

And to time there on thus
No matter what tune life thrust
She heard not their songs
Her feelings froze and no one would she trust

They came for themselves
And they left her without
She learned from them though
Her hopes remained in a picture unframed

Her innocence was soiled
Her hopes
Her feelings
Her aspirations too

A Long Long Way We Have Come, You and I...

After wracking my brain for literally over an hour online, searching for some way to share the original, this was all I could come up with ... copy paste into another window if your computer settings are set in a way that would take over this page on clicking on the link below: 
 

	Whitney_Huston_-_Count_On_Me.mp3 (audio/mpeg Object)

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A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
We have been to many places
Seen so many disgraces, cried together even
You and I


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
We have sang and laughed with each other
While braving judgmental remarks, and ignoring sarcastic murmurs too
You and I


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
You taught me to with stand all my hurdles
You held my hand through the troubles, took some of my falls even
You did so much for me, oh dear of mine


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
You have grown through the puddles
All on your own, while I muddled far too away from your side
This I to date am still unable to rectify


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
We have been to many places
In our own way seen so many faces, into ladies we have now grown
You and I


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
You are on your way, walking towards your dreams
I too far to hug or in elation for you scream
But at heart still connected we are, You and I


A long long way we have come, my darling
You and I
May you find happiness forever lasting
And may the world remain kind unto all your honest askings
Pray this and more for you through this humble writing I do
So as to commemorate the joy that it has been, of being You and I...
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Congratulations on your wedding, my sweet! May love, happiness, and peace in all quarters of your life (with your new family, along side the old), be your blessing unto eternity inshaAllah,
Ameen!

I love you!
FiamaanAllah,

Otherwise Usually Manageable

You were perfection in all ways that mattered, and for those that didn't, I just did not see. All that stood in our way was the matter of your availability, for you had already been taken. Why did you have to step into my life knowing full well your restrictions, when you knew I would lap you up unknowingly. Why did you not stop me when you knew better, for did you not profess to care for my feelings? How could you care for my feelings and still not stop yourself - ourselves? Why would you be so selfish?

Who would have thought that your very selfishness would one day break me, thereby enabling me to hurt back, and in the process only hurt myself some more. Who would have thought that having buried moments deep, one day they would resurface -because of the most unimaginable things- in such poignancy that it would leave me shocked at my own inability to remain unperturbed -especially more so because I had myself convinced of having gotten past that past; the past that is you.

Recriminations of the self, from the self - Behest ye I, to leave me be again, please! I have no place for ye in my present day turbulence...




Avril Lavign : Alice (Underground)

I Don't Understand Why

In the deadlock of your own words,
You let your emotions churn; then burn,
Suffocating yourself into a spiraling mayhem
Unleashed from an unwanted yearn,
Ghastly spirit of which you thought
Was never again going to return.
But caught up with you it has -damn it-
When you were least expecting it,
And left you spent it has once again,
Hating yourself for being so unsuspecting
Of its power on return.
Thus locked in a furnace
Of your own silent moans,
Wide eyed awake you lie crying,
Hushing yourself to reach out once again
Towards that Silent Omnipresence
To calm you down yet again please,
Before your turmoil drags you past sober
Wishing for all things to come to a resounding end.



When my eyes are closed the greatest stories get told; On awakening I find my dreams shattered on the floor... To free my soul, where do I go... I sometimes find it trapped in between somewhere being alone and no place else to go...

(These last lines are from a song called, ''Heartbreaker'', by Enrique Iglesius. The changes have been made to make it personal for myself -that is- how I feel about things. I saw them this way for myself when I heard him say them his way in his words.)

Severed Friendship

Curiosity got the best of me
As I in search of you, set off to see
Whatever nimble fingers could find
By clicking pages on a surfing webbed line
Perhaps a recent picture of you?
Remembered from a time bygone
Perhaps a picture of those two;
Your mister boo, a tiny new you?
I heard of her from those who stayed
In your life from then on till today
They spoke of you and they asked me why
We knew not of each others lives?
In a quiet conversation with my self
My heart began to visit that day again
When asked I was to stay away from you then
With shocked emotions I had thus reacted
With time I'd convinced myself to become placid
And so I had kept myself away from you; his wife
A friend so dear I had lost to his fright
Her lies, her fears, her weakness, her woes
Had made a joke of my honest support
My prayers uncountable for them that I had pleaded
Had been called blasphemy, and to hell I had been bid
Thereby quiet in solitude I chose to remain
If husband and wife felt this lie was their gain
Then contest I would not their heinous claim
Yes I had been hurt, but so be it,
Leave you to live in denial I would
And myself refrain from calling you a liar
The truth of my seemingly futile defense
I pray would not become the bane of your pretense
Today to see your daughter my heart may pine
I'll hear her laughter in my memories of you, albeit confined
Deep in the recesses of my heart of yesterday
I'll peek therein to find some of her in your youth
Pray for your well being I shall always continue
For it was only in human weakness
That I let my curiosity go look for you
On seeing a glance of your happy life
My fingers in writing began to construe
A reminisced journey from then unto now
And realised I thus in lieu:
Love you still I do to this day
In denial I too shall quietly stay
The promise I made, I will still keep
I'll tell you not that I miss you sweet
As The Lord is my witness
My prayer for you will always be
That may the lives of you two be replete
With happiness and blessings unto eternity. 

InshaAllah...
Ameen!