Otherwise Usually Manageable

You were perfection in all ways that mattered, and for those that didn't, I just did not see. All that stood in our way was the matter of your availability, for you had already been taken. Why did you have to step into my life knowing full well your restrictions, when you knew I would lap you up unknowingly. Why did you not stop me when you knew better, for did you not profess to care for my feelings? How could you care for my feelings and still not stop yourself - ourselves? Why would you be so selfish?

Who would have thought that your very selfishness would one day break me, thereby enabling me to hurt back, and in the process only hurt myself some more. Who would have thought that having buried moments deep, one day they would resurface -because of the most unimaginable things- in such poignancy that it would leave me shocked at my own inability to remain unperturbed -especially more so because I had myself convinced of having gotten past that past; the past that is you.

Recriminations of the self, from the self - Behest ye I, to leave me be again, please! I have no place for ye in my present day turbulence...




Avril Lavign : Alice (Underground)