Thursday, 18 November 2010

Plagued by the very many, ''What If-s''...

I realized that I had become one of those people with some major trust issues. I didn't know anymore if I even trusted myself in some situations. I was too scared to play out with certain matters in fear of actually beginning to like what was around, only to loose it like I always have. At this point there isn't even anything to begin being called anything of matter, and I am already scared of letting myself open up too much. I don't think I trust anyone to let go of myself completely. At this rate, who would want to entangle themselves in a mess of such intensity and nature?

Why is it that I can't stop myself from over thinking certain things and let life happen to me like life happens to others. They seem to welcome it. Why does it have to be so hard for me? I feel like I have become my own enemy and if it goes on like this, I will never allow myself to find what I so ardently deeply desire...

... or so it seems for now.

Death Cab For Cutie : Soul Meets Body 

* ''brown eyes'', in my case hold no special meaning.

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