There were two men who loved me
In their own way, in their own time,
Each love more than I could maintain...
One followed a different faith from mine
Only in name albeit and thus my own hopes I disdained.
The other man was married with a child
His child; one with his family name
And so I realised and convinced myself
That with not one or the other either
Was I to find my humble happy domain.
When I left them both, each in their own time
My heart was broken and theirs left supposedly insane
I continued to bereave myself of my loss
-And their loss-
And through all the recriminations
Knew I had no one else but myself,
Only my stubborn dog-headed-self to blame.
Most in speaking of such truth, would find shame
But with each decision respectively
My faith was staunchly guiding me
And I kept holding on to my decided difficult reins.
Therefore, thereby, accepting what I did
As a deed rightfully done
I must try to forget the past and its residual pains
I must strengthen my resolve to no more be weak
And about the past no more sulk or weep
For by lingering in those moments my heart re-opens
Semi healed wounds partially in denial
While I through this tug of war of my incessant musings
Not for a second stand anything to gain.
And that is my story of two amazing men
Who came into my life but only to teach me lessons
That in my heart as a guiding light shall forever
Insha'Allah be ingrained,
And to reaffirm my belief in the age old proverb;
''It is better to have loved and lost
Than to have never loved at all''
-Where in I would love to add,
'Than to never have KNOWN love at all'',
And having said that, I will now let my words be at rest
For suddenly I feel empty but my mind is at peace
And all of me feels some what mighty drained.