Blundering about in my busyness cum laziness plus heartlessness, I vaguely at the back of my mind recollect thinking about, yet again - where is it that my life is going, and where is it that I’d like for it to go – just before I nod off to sleep tonight…
Is it something that sticks around long enough to find an answer to?
Do I think along the same lines often, or even at all, later again?
Does anything change?
Do I do something different to expect a change?
Honestly… well sometimes, Yes, and sometimes, No.
What exactly is it that my heart AND mind want?
Is there a sync between them?
Am I blundering about because I don’t know where exactly it is that I want to be at right now?
Or, is it that I am kind of lost as far as how to get there is concerned?
Am I even sure that THIS IS where I want to be going to?
Even better yet… Do I even know who I am?
I really wonder if I can find an answer (one that satisfies me) to simply who it is that I am…
I definitely know who I WAS…
I know who I want TO BE…
But who AM I really?
Wandering, blundering, searching about in vain as yet - lost, even feeling vacantly hollow on the insides and the outsides all around me sometimes… I try to answer my befuddling, forever swirling unanswered questions about me myself. Answers that would allow me to be at peace with myself with regards to who I have been, am, and wish to be in the future that I hope to be blessed with inshAllah…
At the moment they remain brutally unsatisfied, unquenched and unanswered - hanging abyss.