Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Emotionally hanging abyss

Blundering about in my busyness cum laziness plus heartlessness, I vaguely at the back of my mind recollect thinking about, yet again - where is it that my life is going, and where is it that I’d like for it to go – just before I nod off to sleep tonight…

Is it something that sticks around long enough to find an answer to?

No.

Do I think along the same lines often, or even at all, later again?

Yes.

Does anything change?

No.

Do I do something different to expect a change?

Honestly… well sometimes, Yes, and sometimes, No.

What exactly is it that my heart AND mind want?

Is there a sync between them?

Am I blundering about because I don’t know where exactly it is that I want to be at right now?

Or, is it that I am kind of lost as far as how to get there is concerned?

Am I even sure that THIS IS where I want to be going to?

Even better yet… Do I even know who I am?

I really wonder if I can find an answer (one that satisfies me) to simply who it is that I am…

I definitely know who I WAS…

I know who I want TO BE…

But who AM I really?

Wandering, blundering, searching about in vain as yet - lost, even feeling vacantly hollow on the insides and the outsides all around me sometimes… I try to answer my befuddling, forever swirling unanswered questions about me myself. Answers that would allow me to be at peace with myself with regards to who I have been, am, and wish to be in the future that I hope to be blessed with inshAllah…

At the moment they remain brutally unsatisfied, unquenched and unanswered - hanging abyss.

2 comments:

Elise said...

Hello, just leaving you a comment as I've so enjoyed looking around your site and reading your lovely posts. Great pictures too !

Thank so much for sharing them and I hope you have a fab weekend (well, the rest of it anyway...)!

Best wishes to you

Hayaah said...

Thanx so much for reading my posts and your kind comment :) Truly appreciate it. Its always refreshing to have someone read what comes from with in me and find meaning in my words!

Hope your weekend (or wat was left of it ;)) was pretty good as well!

Best wishes in kind :)