Somewhere in this mind of mine, I am thinking about where it is that I stand today, reaching out into this unknown abyss, trying to find myself a niche to belong to. I feel like I have hung myself as bait on a twisted hook, awaiting for the right catch to feed on me. A me that is aching to step into the unknown untrod world, a place where I can exercise my mind to its utmost, feel like I am part of the workings of everyday something-ness that is making this world go round.
I realised a few days ago, that I had been collecting a lot of things in the depths of my drawers and the dims of my cupboards... things that were no more of any consequence and were simply collecting there-in, piling up and taking up space which could otherwise be better used. I found this akin to my existence of the past few months where in I have clung on to things from my past, perhaps only in my head? But nevertheless, I have been unable to start afresh.
Having already penned down this mess that I thought was a parallel to my actual existence a few days back, I then decided to de-clutter the next day. Two days later, I got a call (from a place I had applied to, two times in the past - 2005, 2007 - and then finally again just before this Eid). I have been in to see them twice in the last few days... gotten all the required papers in order, given my demo lesson today, and now I await a final make or break call in maximum two weeks from today, iA.
SubhaanAllah for how its all worked out. I wait and watch out for what my New Year has in store for me...
A Job after 2 years, iA? A whole new life... A fresh positive beginning, iA...
Friends and family have both pointed out that this new year will be an English one as well as an Islamic one...
I write these flitting thoughts of mine before I put my head down to sleep. Do please send me a prayer, my dear reading friends... for I desperately seek this new beginning, iA...
JazakAllah khayr!
Shubbakhair...
FiamaanAllah
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