Tuesday, 16 December 2008

The Mess Behind Closed Doors

So last night I was rummaging through my some-accumulated, some-discarded, some-not-of-any-particular-significance-right-now things, trying really hard to find the original mark sheet from my Masters in college.

Is it me or do we sometimes put things away too safely? That's when I wrack my brains out looking for the safely put away object, usually never to be found at the time direful in need! A similar something happened with these mark sheets of mine.

We moved houses about 2 years ago, when many things which were not of immediate use got stashed away. And while those were put away, many a things got added on into that collection from some time to another, based on whether they were needed at the time or not, and that stash started becoming an unorganised crazy mess, which when left for a long period of time, also accumulated dust on top of its confused self.

Akin to this seldom opened armoire, are my chest of drawers. Time and time again, every random object that has no immediate function, gets dropped inside its ample space, that is now spitting out objects, only to be stuffed and held back in, on attempts to shut it right back, with thoughts of being organised and re-assembled into order, at a later time or date. A latertime or date which is well... Later

To cut the entire messiness short, I got to thinking, amidst a pile of various to keeps, to throw aways, and do not know what to do with yets; ''Is all this also what my life has become today? Have I crammed myself with things which I need not no more, and left no space inside of me for things that I do need, things that I need to grow with? Am I stifling myself up and shutting down to new experiences and new opportunities because of my internal space that is too full of useless things of old and hanging on to a past no more important, all things which are of no consequence in my today, my right now? Am I just shutting myself down, hiding behind a door, sitting stashed on a shelf, crushed inside a drawer, not to be exposed to a something lighter, brighter and better in my life? Have I just collected too much mess inside my own self, as I have all this mess behind these closed doors?''

Indeed I wonder...

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