Sometimes I look at pictures of friends and acquaintances, with their husbands and babies, and I think to myself whether I dream of dreams not to be mine. They seem far too out of reach. All that I wish for -hope for- in a husband, seems not for my taking. It feels like all that is out there, will remain only to be seen in pictures of others, for I am in a place that allows me no contact with the options that could be. They seem not for my taking, because I am too far away from them, and my current situation (since a really long while now) seems like it shall remain so - unchanged. I cannot seem to find an escape from my little window that allows me access to see all, yet not touch, and sometimes this becomes very hard to bear. To see any of ''these specific gifts of life'' being mine one day, feels nothing short of a miracle, if at all. I feel scared to even think about whether I would be able to honour these miracles, if I were to be chosen one day, to be blessed with either or both of them.
Such miracles/a miracle can become a reality only if He Who Can make it possible, so Wills. In such hope and lucid comfort, I try to find peace.