Inn Allah Ma'a Saabireen (Allah is with those who are patient)

Lyrics (copy paste link to access): http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/seether/fineagain.html



There is this noise outside. It's sucking the life out of everyone who can hear it. Some have managed to close their ears to it. Some have managed to shut their eyes when they face its source; not see what would otherwise be obvious and apparent.

Busy, they are so busy... Safe from having to face any ugliness or hear the pain abound. I wonder if I could buy that sanctity...

Scratch that actually, for I wouldn't be able to afford it anyways...


- Mums in pain. Physical pain. No one is taking her to a doctor. Wish I could drive? Hah!
- Khalu has been moved to a bigger hospital in the city. His condition has worsened. He is all my Khala has.
- Cousin sister's husband is struggling through Hep B. He is also all she has. She herself is struggling with acute anemia, thryroid, unexplicable leg pains, lots of surgeries for other problems, and now she is fighting pain suspected to be from the liver area. She has put off going to the emergency because of her husband's tiredness post his treatment (unbeknownst to me in all entirety but something akin to chemotherapy from what little I have gathered).
- Mum's Khala who was fighting TB in the hospital for almost a month now, passed away a few hours ago. She had her two daughers and a son for family in Pakistan. Her living siblings are all stuck in old age and India right now, too late to be able to bid her g'bye.
- My father recently passed out the stone in his kidney, and all the discomfort, bleeding and pain that was a part of it, is weighing him down because he thought amidst the other issues of those around him, his deserved most attention, most care and worry from those who he thinks are his family. He is Alhumdulillah physically fine, for all we know for now.
- The claim in general where I live is - we cannot afford ''this, that, it, or whatever it is that you (may) think is important''.
- Thank you employment for deserting me, for otherwise I could have felt useful.
- Hmm... 29 years, not much to show for it. I wonder how many years are left to make my own dreams come true one day.
- Conscience... Kills : Doesn't let you sleep, not worry, or do anything that makes you happy, unless everyone who matters to you can be happy.
- Racing heart. Perhaps BP being erratic again? Health is down the dumps. Eating disorder. Food is comfort. Human touch pined for. Zero advice asked for or needed. Knees hurt, Feet hurt... Obesity has sworn to be my shadow for life. Why I live with it? I don't have the energy to explain to those who haven't lived with it, but oh well, be grossed out and judge away. Those who have been there - well you know what Im talking about... may be?
- Bitter ramblings... My basic attempt at trying to preserve my self questioned sanity.
- Sajda, Dhikr - here I come. YOU are all I have; Ar Ghaffur, Ar Rahman Ar Raheem. I find myself often these days, praying for You to take me back to Your Fold. I have lost the will to want anything much anymore.

Inn Allah Ma'a Saabireen...
Inn Allah Ma'a Saabireen...
Inn Allah Ma'a Saabireen...
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