I feel an intense fear.
A fear of tomorrow and what it holds for me.
For if it even does hold anything for me.
I feel a fear of my today becoming repeats and my tomorrow being no different from what I live today.
I feel a fear of dying, never knowing more.
I feel a fear deep, sharp and intense.
I feel a panic grip me, but I cover it up just like every other fear that I always have…
I continue to smile.
I throw myself back into prayer to seek peace.
I can not achieve anything if I continue to fear the unknown.
So I try and hope again for something better ahead. Something perhaps not amazing, but something good enough to help me smile from inside and not just paste it on my face for the lack of having a real mask…