Friday, 27 February 2009
''Loneliness knows me by name''
I was reminded of this song just now. I used to listen to it many years ago, perhaps a decade or so earlier. What reminded me of it was how DESPERATELY LONELY I am feeling right now...
I here, sitting away from home, ache for a familiar face, a person a place, to whom or which I may belong. I ache to hear a voice that makes me feel at ease, a voice that makes me feel I am in the right place.
There is just me and my solitude. How much one can fake smiles, and talk about subjects that DO NOT matter to you, or intrigue you in the least, at the moment eludes me. How much one can be around all that is discomfitting, so much so, that you are struggling with in to break loose and get out, is suffocating me! Cramped from all sides. Rules of the country do not allow me to step out at any hour alone as a woman. There isn't really any place to go to either when you are in an unfamiliar town.
I crave some me time. I want someone I can talk to. I want someone who wants to talk to me. I want the comfort of atleast having my own siblings to hug or receive a smile from. I even miss my moms incessant nagging about something trivially random.
I want to sleep in my own bed, wrapped in the warmth of my own comforter, my head cucooned amidst my own pillows, my cusion tightly held in my arms.
I wanna go back home or else find a place to call my own...