Sunday, 21 February 2010

A Decision Made

With the rise of new problems, one see's the ease in those of misery's past.

That happen with anyone else?

Im having my such a moment, as of now! I have made my decision, and whether or not it is right - I know not - but I am at peace with it, since I have decided on doing so!

A background in brief to said problem: I have always moped and whined about the job I have been blessed with (only two technically, but nevertheless this has been my self diagnosis post introspection). When I began work recently, last November, I began resenting it's enviornment, and thinking about all that I thought was bad at my first place which now in retrospect looked like nothing compared to my present state of affairs. Then today, I went in to a ''third'' place that had called me in, to sign up with them...

The chaos, the confusion, the system, the comments, the suggestions, the help, the faculty, the building, the location, the hours - NONE - were to my liking. Thank God, that a contract had not even come into equation yet, due to said places chaos, and hence, many hours were lost in a futile visit. I have never, NEVER, felt instant recoil from a place in my life, except for once before many years ago. My reaction then too, in the past, had been to run out, but I had delayed the decision, and suffered loss of time and money thus. This reminiscent feeling, egged me on to embrace the inkling before I actually GOT trapped, instead of simply FEELING trapped, which is ALL of what I was feeling just from thinking about the offered contract.

I have decided to cut my losses short, refuse to work in a place where my heart is at SUCH an INTENSE loss that I fail to grasp its reasonings in all entirety myself even, and I am thinking at the moment, that Id rather stick to a less paying job, or no job even, than to go sign up big bucks that people otherwise have been tempting me with as an incentive to a soul sucking atmosphere at work. I think I prefer to go door to door looking for any other prospects, instead of going back to this place. I have made up my mind, for better or worse, NOT to go back here, and let the authorities incharge know so, in those many words or less, as and when questioned about it...

For now, I wish to stand my ground after intense introspection of self and it's capabilities!

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