Sunday, 22 November 2009

The ability (one of many) to love someone...

We are all wired in such amazing ways.
The way our mind manifests thoughts in itself is quite astounding indeed!

I was thinking today. We, single beings – male or female – often talk about ‘love’. We have all gone around the world and then some, over the decades in the past and through untold stories, to try and define it, to try and confine it into a category, and other forms that may or may not otherwise make sense to them or us. We often go about in search of this entity, and some of us also believe that we have experienced it at some point of life, in some relationship or the other. Some give it a good name, some give it a bad name, and both these qualities are stretched and shredded into all degrees of normalcy or abnormality; all to meet the fancy of our human mind.

What I got around to thinking was: Let’s leave the people who DO NOT believe in the concept of ‘love’ aside. And I repeat, I do mean the love shared between a man and a woman, and not any other borne out of relationships otherwise. Having clarified that, let’s look at the ‘love’ that people who BELIEVE in it, talk of...

You believe in love. Either you have experienced it before, or you are still awaiting that ONE right person, OR you may even be like me and have experienced it at varying degrees and levels of maturity, through your adolescence and there forth. I am 29. Let’s be real about emotions, if not to someone else, then at least to ourselves...

I was thinking: If I have known love, but never had it long enough to survive all trials, I still know how precious it is/can be. Some people have known what love is but have lost it to other many reasons. If two people have known what love is, should they be judging other people they meet about their past experiences of love? I would believe/think (and I am emphatic when I say this is MY belief), that if two people meet in life, both knowing what it is like to lose (in) love, they then have a common ground on which they can share EVEN more love with each other (if they allow themselves to).Why? Because they both know what it is like not to have achieved it previously, to have lost it (in whatever manner, not being SO important). Don’t you think commonalities are a great place to start building relationships up from? Don’t we do it with other things? So why is it that many people (I admit I speak of those that I have come across) who are trying to meet people with marriage/relationship in mind, find it an area absolutely necessary to dig into -scrape even- and then start forming opinions of judgement instead of finding common ground in that loss that they have both had in their life?!

I don’t know if this makes sense. But I personally feel, that I can love someone even more if I know that that very person has loved someone else with an intense honesty and depth in his past, only to have lost them or not having gotten them for other reasons (many as those can be). Those who have had their heart broken – I feel – have all the more capacity to love again, only if they allow themselves to cherish what they DID have (accepting that it was in the past), and move on knowing that today has something better (or simply new) to offer that can give them a tomorrow to hold on to and build on.

Make any sense?

Hmm, I don’t know. May be, perhaps?


Linda S. Socha said...

Having lost a true love to his heart attack when he was 45, I do feel I know what you mean.

Absolutely to me it is a good thing to recognize what I had and what it mean and to hold that in a special heart place. Yes. At some point a decision is made to love again based in part, I feel, of what has gone before

Hayaah said...

Exactly Linda... I totally agree. It is of essence to know that you are happy with all that was, yet ready for a tomorrow afresh.

Im really sorry for your loss, but also happy to hear you have known what true love is like. It is a bliss irreplaceable!

~ Much love & hugs sent your way :)

Sajid said...

if this does'nt i dont know wat else would honestly make sense. mA

Hayaah said...

Thanx Sajid :)
Pleasing to know that someone so word by word agrees!
Sorry about the late response. Was away for a bit, to India for a cousins wedding.
Hope u've been well, iA :)