Just when you thought, ‘I have passed this hurdle’, you’re smacked in the face with another one! Your guards get right back up and you’re promising yourself, ‘I will not let this break me. It was fine the last time around. I have dealt with worse things. I can do this. I do not have time to break down. I must move on and deal with it now.’
Funny, how our human psyche is. When in conflict, we are thinking of how the problem is affecting ‘me’. In that moment we (I) fail to grasp that there are other factors that impact those around us, which affect them in such ways that they in turn react towards us as a rebound from their issues, there by saying/doing things that turn our life (my life) around.
And in my moment of worry, I am bitter and anxious, instantly recoiling from the source of my pain and dilemma. Perchance with time I will be an angel and see they did not single me out for an agenda of their own? But for now I am being human and concentrating on my problem that is a result of their actions. I don’t want to hate them. I just want to distance myself and find a solution to my confusion and chaos that would not have been, had they not lied, deceived and put on a charade. If only they could have been honest from the get go and not given me reason to believe all was ok.
Why do people lie? Vile - repercussions of their façade to me are simply vile!
Respite to me seems to come and go, in all matters of life. Temporary, lithesome, restless respite…
I tackled the last road block that stood in my way. I can do this. I will find my way around this one too, inshAllah. There’s no other way but to keep my head held straight up, eyes focused ahead, and keep surging on forth.
Inn Allaha Ma’as Saabireen!